Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. ~Author Unknown

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

Yes, that's right... me! 

Sorry for the ages between posts, but between getting engaged the day after that last post (technically the day of since it was past midnight when i posted...) and a different position at work, and the wild hysteria that has ensued, this is the first time that I've had "time" to write...

This is my ring... isn't it pretty! 

But being engaged has been hard... in its own kinda ways...

Like, you know when you know something... But you don't share it with anyone because you don't really want it to be true, so you think by keeping it to yourself, that it won't ever happen?

Something like that kinda happened shortly after we got engaged... and it was SO HARD to come to terms with.  but knowing that Josh was going to be with me thru it all, has made it easier for me to handle.  Although there are tears still being shed, and probably always will be, with him holding my hand and wiping my tears away,, I have hope that I will make it thru... I believe that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle.  That being said, I also believe he stretches us almost to breaking point... sometimes even to beyond breaking point... and I know that He trusts us enough to allow us to go thru things...

And even though I am terrified and have had my anxiety attacks (yay for those... O.o) Josh has been my rock and not let me stumble too far down.. or if I needed to push, he always let me push, but not push him away.

I am SO beyond lucky to marry this man.  This sweet man that my Heavenly Father has given me... and prepared for me... and prepared me for...

The way we came about was fun... we've known each other since I was 10, he was 11... (he's only a couple of months older than I am)... But he was definitely the NERD/GEEK of the class... slightly awkward (still is, sweet man) but always kinda there... in the back ground.  We went to elementary school, Jr High and High School together, and not once did we ever have a class... 

We were always nice to each other, knew who the other one was, but never really knew knew each other... I thought he was cute, in that awkward nerdy boy kinda way, but seriously... he was weird...I didn't do the whole weird and be OK with it thing...

Fast forward about 3 years... going to the same singles LDS ward, and kinda knew each other then... Still thought he was cute... weird and different but cute, but so much better and "good" than I ever was.

Then, one day, repeatedly , I was praying for a man to come into my life.  I was tired of being alone.... Being the only unattached sibling over the age of 16, it was time... I thought... Had an anxiety attack and received a blessing from a leader within our church.  In it, I was promised a young man was preparing and waiting for me.  YAY!

I was poked to go and talk with Josh... which I listened to, then promptly forgot.  If you have read my earlier posts, the ex boyfriend was back into play... because he was familiar.... 

"better the devil you know then the devil you don't."

Heart break ensued... Josh was there, kinda in the corner... (see previous post: about cuddling) and I was poked again to go and talk with him... Slowly our friendship grew from just comfort to love. 

Our first kiss and the stories that have since transpired will be for another post... But I just wanted to catch everyone up... and just write it down now, while it's still kinda fresh in my memory... so I can relive it someday when time has not been so kind...