Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ~William Arthur Ward

Last night, husband and I went to FHE at the Sackett home.  The Coopers were there and we had so much fun! Dinner, dessert, a lesson and a game! 

Scott gave the lesson: Gratitude.

He started with quoting a scripture which escapes me --

Gratitude by definition is:

 < the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful:>

After the scripture, he read the following poem:

- The Road is Rough-

"The road is rough," I said, dear Lord,
there's stones that hurt me so."
And He said, "Dear child, I understand,
I walked it long ago."
"But there is a cool green path," I said,
Let me walk there a while."
"No child," He gently answered me-
The green road does not climb."

"My burden," I said, is far too great,
How can I bear it so?"
"My child," said He, I remember it's weight,
I carried my cross, you know."
"But," I said, i wish there were friends with who would make my way their own."
"Oh yes," He said, Gethsemane, was hard to face alone.

And as I walked that stony path-
I was content to know,
That where my Master had not gone,
I would not need to go.

And strangely then, I found new friends,
The burden grew less sore.
As I remembered long ago,
That He had walked that way before.

Quoted by Harold B Lee

He then expressed his gratitude for the blessings of having amazing friends in his life.  Husband, NC, and his wife, who has been his friend for ages and expressed his gratitude that his friends had wives that chose to live the life path that he, himself had chose.

I sat there- and I cried.

Husband had more people in the temple than I had.
Totally fine.

But the people that I wanted there the most, the ones where I had always said " Ms. X will definitely be at my wedding..." or "Mr. L will be there."

I had 2 of my *MY* friends there.  Oh, my family was there- minus my brother and his wife, but my friends... 2.

One, is one of the sweetest ladies ever!  I love her to pieces and think that she is amazing!  She is so much fun to be around, and even though I went and got married, I know that if I needed her, she would be there.

The other one, is my young woman's leader.  She is spectacular.  She was the one that I could go to, whatever crap was going on in my life, and I felt her love. 

According to my In-Laws, as she was waiting in the temple waiting room to go into the sealing room, she was so excited to be there and so very touched.  I am grateful to her and her constant loving example. 

sorry- tangent.

Back to the original idea for this post.

I sat there- and I cried.

I had not always been the "good girl".  I had not always been the proud LDS member that I am.  I was one of those adrift souls that was just trying to find a piece of happiness in this world.

and ya know what?

I miss my friends... the ones I had in High School before life got too tough... my sophomore year friends... when we would sit in front of the school at lunch time, and just BS together and totally have fun.  Where I would laugh and giggle and gossip... then get up and wander around waiting for the next class bell to ring. 

But that sophomore year changed us. 

Boyfriends, rivalries, jealousy, and just teenage angst, made us all kinda drift apart. 

I tell husband all the time how lucky he is to have amazing friends... where he can say that he's had his best friends for- years!  Since he first moved here when he was a mere 11 years old ( he's 25 now) and that there has not been a single time when life was "too tough" to go to these friends and lean on them...

I wish I knew then what I know now. 

The gospel is the true way to happiness and joy.
treasure these friendships and *never* let boyfriends get in the way...
that I am beautiful- I was not fat- and that I didn't need to be "easy" (not slutty- unless you count kissing as slutty) to get the real guys that you wanna be with, to like you.

I'm just lucky that I *now* have friends that I can lean on.  That I can say I've known for a few years... that I'm part of the "in-crowd" in my husband's little geeky group of friends.