"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself." — Robert Frost

At least that's what they say.  And by they- I mean those that are around me... a lot.  At least, that's what they imply when they say things.

Before, it probably never would have bothered me.  I would have probably joined in- especially about the dreaded:  UTAH MORMONS!

Because, even though I am LDS, the area (ward) that I grew up in, was not so kind to me.  They had a horrible tendency to, ya know, be clique-ish.  OB-freakin-NOXIOUS!  I mean, at least that's what it seemed like to me at the time. 

But since becoming a "damn Utah Mormon", I guess I have a hard time letting stuff like that roll off.  I mean, I still cuss- obviously.  but I really really try hard to be honest, true and do the things that I am supposed to be doing  I go to church- albeit, late.  I pay my tithes, fast offerings, and try to fulfill my callings.  I do the scripture reading, the praying with spouse and personal, and I attend the Temple- probably not as much as I should, but I do.

Some days- I do wonder... what would my life be like if I had rebelled?  I would possibly still be friends with my brother.... going to parties every weekend... meaning my social life would be rockin'!  My money would go to me, no one else...

But my closer relationship I've gained with my parents wouldn't be there.  My younger sisters wouldn't want to be around me.  And the love of my amazingly sweet and forgiving husband- wouldn't be... mine.

I would probably just be more angry, depressed, lost.

I am so grateful for the day I went with my sweet cousin to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple open house.  Being inside that gorgeous building inspired me to kinda buck up... pick myself back up off the ground and start figuring where I wanted my life to go.  The beauty of that temple inspired me. 

I am grateful for a loving, generous, and wise Heavenly Father... even if I am frustrated at his time-table at times.  I am grateful that He sent a Savior- my personal Savior and brother, Jesus Christ to atone for my sins, heart-ache, sorrow, pain, and loneliness.  I am grateful that the atonement allows for second chances, growth, and peace. 

So I think I'll continue to be a "damn Utah Mormon", because while the name bothers me, the fact is: I am LDS.  And I am so grateful that I am.