“Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the 'someday I'll' philosophy.” Dennis Waitley

So I've been reading blogs...

Like stalking blogs is a more apt term for this...

And I feel- almost like a failure in regards to being a wife.  Newly weds shouldn't feel that way- right? 

Another blog post I read that kinda struck close to home is Single Dad Laughing's  

Time vs. the Worthless Heart 

OUCH.

I never realized it, but I'm kinda holding my breath as to when Husband will kinda wake up and realize he truly did marry a crazy. 

Every day of my life, growing up, I was constantly told how

• spoiled
• selfish
• bossy
• controlling
• uncaring
• manipulative
• fat
• un-focused
• mean
• bratty

I was.  From family, "friends", acquaintances and the like.   Constantly.  Repeatedly. Pretty much every day.

And only time can tell if Husband really *can* stick around.  If he really *can* handle being married to a crazy lady like me. 

I hope so.  I kinda love having him in my life- like I've said before, he saves me from my self-destruction. 

Honestly.
Truly.

Someday, I'll be awesome and crafty.  I'll be the best wife ever... but until then I'm just gonna focus on some of the smaller things I can do to better myself-

• I'll focus on allowing my husband to spoil me without feeling guilty- and I won't let it rot me.
• I'll focus on reaching outside of my pity party and find someone that *I* can help
• I'll try to allow Husband to do things his way instead of always MY way... although MY way is the right way most of the time
• I'll listen to Husband when he wants to actually talk with me about his games stuff... I'll try to be more focused on it.

I think I'll start with those... and one of these days, my Blog will be one of *those* Mommy Blogs.

Happy Wednesday!