Life has been good.
Well, mostly.
Lots of praying and growing up has been involved in life these past few weeks...
Let's have a quick update:
Husband will be going back to school- FINALLY! After 2 semesters off, he's going back. Which is great... except that it means even less time together, and I, being the rotten gal that I am, don't think I have enough time with him anyways... plus, I'm totally kinda jealous that he's going back to school- and at times, I wish that it was me, going back, learning and enjoying the college experience that I have never had.
However, I was not that great of a student- mainly because, I think, I had a fear.
My fear? Such a silly and random and terrifying thought.
Success.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson
That quote that everyone always quotes- I need it like ingrained into my brain. And I know that I can be successful. I've been promised in more than one blessing that it is indeed something attainable for me.
So, why then, am I so terrified to succeed?
I honestly don't know.
When I was losing weight, I felt great. I was excited and I had lost 23 pounds in 3 or 4 months- which I found awesome. I was exercising, eating better- all that good stuffs. Then, I couldn't afford my program any more- (Weight Watchers) and so I quit. With quitting, I gained 3 pounds back- not too bad. Kept up the exercise and what not.
Then, later that summer, I hurt both of my ankles- left one sprained super bad and the right one had a chipped bone- woot!
That meant no exercise for at least 6 weeks!!!
6 long weeks.
6 weeks of sitting around
6 weeks to break my habit of exercise.
And since that day, the continual struggle has only compounded. I started another trendy type diet thing- Medifast. Which works. Wonders! I lost 15 lbs when I first started dating Husband- which I have since re-gained plus some.
The joys of going from walking/ lifting- moving all day long to sitting at a desk. Add in the birth control that plays with your hormones, and I'm screwed.
So here I am, not the heaviest I've ever been, but definitely not the lightest either.
Anyway- tangent.
Life-
Husband's schedule totally sucks this semester- and I do not approve! We're just kinda taking things by ear and not really sure how/when to grow up.
I am still working at the same place that I've been at for a little over 3 years. I enjoy it at least most days.
I'm still unsure as to what I need to be doing to move forward in *my* life which, I guess is "our" life- does that make sense...?
Should I stay working at my job, or should I take a huge leap of faith, rack up some student loans and go back to school- working part time and schooling full time?
One huge thing off our shoulders is we paid off one debt!! That is *HUGE*! We paid off our loan in less than a year and, while it's weird, it is TOTALLY awesome!!!
We also bought tomato plants and need to buy Terra Cotta Pots with some more potting soil and those weird gross Orange flowers that apparently need to be in *every* garden.
So I'm off. Husband will stay working, I'll wander to Wal*Mart and pick some stuffs up and hopefully have our tiny little garden set to go when he gets home- but I should probably take the trash out first.
Yay for life!!
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