Apparently I've been struggling...
So says by Blog...
So, Im here to try to make amends.
Sorta...
Let's just do an update on life and the like since the miscarriage last year- which is when the last time I posted something of substance...
June 2011- I miscarried
July 2011- Confused about what was going on, and still aching and in pain over loss
August 2011- Continued working full time and started school part time, moved back in with my parents
September 2011- huge layoffs at work- I was spared- Husband turned 26 and started gaining weight
October 2011- Halloween- meh, pretty simple, and gained even more weight, totaling 35 pounds
November 2011- Thanksgiving and schooling and working made up my time, and maintained weight
December 2011- Turned 26, finals at school, and celebrated other holidays and birthdays
January 2012- Started school again started feeling "off"
February 2012- Husband got me gorgeous earrings for Valentine's Day and my favorite flowers
March 2012- Schooling and went to the Deaf Center to test for interpreting, stopped drinking caffeine and started to feel better
April 2012- Received notice I failed my test (bleh) and finals
May 2012- Decided I hated my job and didn't want to become an interpreter
June 2012- Rowley Family vacation to Steamboat Springs where everyone got sick, I made gnocchi (which was amazing)
July 2012- Put my 2 weeks notice in at work and prepared for going back to school and relaxing, noticed that I was constantly tired, had wonky cycles, nauseous and dizzy... ALL... THE... FREAKIN'.... TIME...
August 2012- Started school and visited the doctor for various reasons listed above and Husband lost his job
September 2012- Enjoying school and learned that I am Insulin Resistant- which is almost pre-diabetic which is why I'd been feeling off for so long, and still have Husband job-hunting
I learned that my body is.. well, pretty messed up due to my miscarriage last year. My thyroid had always been on the lower end of normal (which should be more crisply defined instead of having such a broad spectrum) but it had stopped working. Because it had stopped working, my body was producing more insulin than it needed, which in turn is one of the reasons my hormone balance is so off. Which is also why I gained weight.
Most bodies, when they ear carbs, get a sugar high... then you come crashing down. Whenever I ate carbs, especially those evil simple carbs such as yummy cakes, cookies, pasta, and bread, the insulin in my body would latch onto those suckers and start to store them as fat... giving me no extra boost of energy as most people get, and helping me in ballooning up to my largest size to date.
So I'm pretty much doing a no carb diet- except I can have a piece of Ezekiel Toast or homemade whole wheat bread every once in a while.
I'm sick of meat.
I miss bread and pasta and even bread crumbs on chicken.
But I am down 8 pounds.
Which is where we need to go so that I can get my body and hormones back in balance.
So that I can get a move on.
I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired to not being able to walk across campus (which never was a problem before) without being tired. I'm tired of not being able to stay up past 1030p. I'm just tired.
So to review- I now have Hypothyroid issues, I'm insulin resistant, and my hormones are completely messed up...
But, I am still trying to be where I need to be, do what I need to do, and continue with life as best I can... All while trying to serve as a Sunbeam teacher... don'tch'y'all be jealous..
So says by Blog...
So, Im here to try to make amends.
Sorta...
Let's just do an update on life and the like since the miscarriage last year- which is when the last time I posted something of substance...
June 2011- I miscarried
July 2011- Confused about what was going on, and still aching and in pain over loss
August 2011- Continued working full time and started school part time, moved back in with my parents
September 2011- huge layoffs at work- I was spared- Husband turned 26 and started gaining weight
October 2011- Halloween- meh, pretty simple, and gained even more weight, totaling 35 pounds
November 2011- Thanksgiving and schooling and working made up my time, and maintained weight
December 2011- Turned 26, finals at school, and celebrated other holidays and birthdays
January 2012- Started school again started feeling "off"
February 2012- Husband got me gorgeous earrings for Valentine's Day and my favorite flowers
March 2012- Schooling and went to the Deaf Center to test for interpreting, stopped drinking caffeine and started to feel better
April 2012- Received notice I failed my test (bleh) and finals
May 2012- Decided I hated my job and didn't want to become an interpreter
June 2012- Rowley Family vacation to Steamboat Springs where everyone got sick, I made gnocchi (which was amazing)
July 2012- Put my 2 weeks notice in at work and prepared for going back to school and relaxing, noticed that I was constantly tired, had wonky cycles, nauseous and dizzy... ALL... THE... FREAKIN'.... TIME...
August 2012- Started school and visited the doctor for various reasons listed above and Husband lost his job
September 2012- Enjoying school and learned that I am Insulin Resistant- which is almost pre-diabetic which is why I'd been feeling off for so long, and still have Husband job-hunting
I learned that my body is.. well, pretty messed up due to my miscarriage last year. My thyroid had always been on the lower end of normal (which should be more crisply defined instead of having such a broad spectrum) but it had stopped working. Because it had stopped working, my body was producing more insulin than it needed, which in turn is one of the reasons my hormone balance is so off. Which is also why I gained weight.
Most bodies, when they ear carbs, get a sugar high... then you come crashing down. Whenever I ate carbs, especially those evil simple carbs such as yummy cakes, cookies, pasta, and bread, the insulin in my body would latch onto those suckers and start to store them as fat... giving me no extra boost of energy as most people get, and helping me in ballooning up to my largest size to date.
So I'm pretty much doing a no carb diet- except I can have a piece of Ezekiel Toast or homemade whole wheat bread every once in a while.
I'm sick of meat.
I miss bread and pasta and even bread crumbs on chicken.
But I am down 8 pounds.
Which is where we need to go so that I can get my body and hormones back in balance.
So that I can get a move on.
I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired to not being able to walk across campus (which never was a problem before) without being tired. I'm tired of not being able to stay up past 1030p. I'm just tired.
So to review- I now have Hypothyroid issues, I'm insulin resistant, and my hormones are completely messed up...
But, I am still trying to be where I need to be, do what I need to do, and continue with life as best I can... All while trying to serve as a Sunbeam teacher... don'tch'y'all be jealous..
2 comments:
Sweetie I am so sorry that this has been such a hard year for you! What can I do for you? Do you want to hang out more? Do you just need space? I am currently in a "no friends want to be left alone all the time state" otherwise known as depression, which is why I haven't exactly been chatty-cathy lately. BUT - notice that massive BUT (haha! As in my massive butt!), I would definitely make an exception for you! We could commiserate together. Whaddaya say? :)Just remember you are loved and you are incredible.
I'm not so good at writing words strong enough to convey my emotions. But, I love you! And I feel for you so much! You are amazing, and you breathe beauty everywhere you go.
I sincerely hope that these trials will soon pass, and that you can feel some of the beauty and grace that everyone else feels when they are with you.
Don't stop being awesome!
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