It feels more like a journal...

Hello weakness, we meet again

Is it just me or does having weakness SUCK!!!???!?!! I mean, I know weakness is onyl to humble us and ask for help, and sin is only when we give into our weakness... but are you freakin' kidding me?!?

I have my weaknesses and I have my strengths... and my greatest strength is also one of my HUGEST weaknesses... I've talked with my bishop about it... and I really don't know how to change it.... because in a way, I don't want to. It's such an integral part of who I am.

Another thing is because of past life experiences, I'm a little more broken than most people. I know this. I see the pattern that I take to get there, and I cannot seem to get out of it.

Suggestions and Advice?

Also, I've completely lost my motivation to eat well and exercise. Because while it got me down 20 pounds, I've put most of, if not all of, it back on since July. Blasted hurting my feet.. :(

And to top it all off, I feel as though I'm drowning in a pool of self doubt. What if I'll never be "good enough" to be married...? What if I'm never gonna be pretty, thin, or clever enough? I know I'm only 23, don't start on age, but coming from an immediate family of relatively 'young' marriages, (the oldest was my dad and he was pushing 24, just like I am) it's starting to get to me more and more. I see my friends getting married and having babies. I just want what they have... what I've NEVER had... someone who doesn't just see me as a piece of ass or someone that will bend over backwards to get them to notice her, only to have them take complete advantage.

I want what every girl wants. A happily ever after..

"And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."