I was doing the math on the whole pregnancy thing.
I would have been 12 or 13 weeks along now... roughly 1/3 of the way thru and comfortable enough to have started telling people. Such as the creative idea we had to tell Husband's younger brother, Sam, that we were pregnant.
We were going to create or find an Uncle Sam card and write on the inside
"We want YOU to be Uncle Sam"...
cheesy but we thought it would have been clever.
And now- everyone is pregnant.
At least it feels like it.
My sister in law, Liza is pregnant- expecting a boy in September.
My cousin is pregnant and due in November.
My cousin in law is pregnant and due in November.
Our good friends, who haven't announced to everyone, are pregnant.
My good friend Arika is pregnant.
But I do want to hear about their pregnancies. I love the fact that so many babies are being born right now... and only part of me is completely selfish in my thinking that I truly wish that *I* could be pregnant right along with them.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm still- bleeding, which is such an icky way to describe it, but that's what it is. 5 weeks and counting... meaning I would have been pregnant along with my good friends and we could all be pregnant together.
But, God has a plan for me.
He knows me and knows my pain.
He understands that in order for something great to come together, some other things must fall apart.
He's done this to me before.
I've gotten thru it before when I thought that I never would.
It just hurts and I'm sad that my turn hasn't come yet. But it will. Someday.
It will.
Blueberry-
I love you.
I always will.
I just hope that I'll either meet you here or in the here-after.
Love, Momma
4 comments:
I am so sorry that you are so sad. I can't even imagine what that would feel like. I didn't even want to post it online yet, but everyone else knew because I have been so sick. Please, Please tell me you have gone to the doctor. That isn't normal to still be bleeding, especially when you were only like 5 or 6 weeks along right? Talk to your doctor about a D&C. It may sound so awful to you, but it's best to have it taken care of so you can try and conceive again. I have had so many women around me and close to me who have lost babies, and how painful it is for them. I just get pregnant really easy. With all of my babies the longest it has been is 4 months. But with all of my children, I look at you with such envy. I am jealous of the time you get to spend with your husband, and all the freedom you still have, and all the fun things you can do. But your time with come. Just have faith. I love you Cora!
Thanks lady!
I know and like my last post said, there was a sense of relief.
I have talked with my doctor and he said that it can take up to 6 weeks of bleeding- just like a normal birth type thing.
I've googled it and such and that seems to be the norm... although I'm contemplating going to a different doctor. The one I have right now is just buggin' me.
I'm confused in your comment- what baby- 4 months?
Okay! I am so glad that is normal! I just have a friend who miscarried around the 6 weeks as well, and she already had three kids, she bled for 8 weeks, and then got checked out. She had to have a D&C and is now having a really hard time getting pregnant.
With Emma, she was a huge surprise, and I just got pregnant, with Lilah it took 4 months to get pregnant after I went off birth control, and this time it only took two months. Luke and I must have some kind of insane compatibility. It really kinda scares me, because I wonder, even after a vasectomy if I will still get pregnant. That is probably my biggest fear right now, because pregnancy is so hard for me, and we decided this was the absolute last time, because I couldn't do it again physically.
I go to the Mount Timpanogos Women's Health Center. It is in American Fork, kinda a drive, but they were recommended to me by a friend and I have been there for all my babies and gynocological needs. They have doctors as well as midwives. They are wonderful! And I know they take IHC insurance, as well as something else.
If this makes you feel better, Chantel got pregnant around the same time as me, doing the surrogate thing, and she has to go through it all, and then doesn't get a baby in the end. I think that would be horrible, I could never do it.
I love you! That is all I can say right now. I have never been in your situation. I don't know what it is like. But I love you!
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