28 weeks down and supposedly 12 weeks to go.
So crazy.
I've decided to count blessings... and where's a better place to do that than right here? Thanks to Ms Arika for giving me the idea. I've been super struggling with the idea of WHAT I have instead of what I WANT to have...
1- I have a place to live. Although it's not always easy and at times I hate it, it's a place that I can have my stuff, sleep, and cook dinners.
2- My baby belly. I'm grateful that I was able to lose 20 pounds when I first got pregnant so that I am far more comfortable now than I was then and would be now if I hadn't.
3- Husband. He's the best. For reals.
4- My in-laws. They are some of the sweetest and most generous people I know. I'm blessed to have them.
5- Living at my parent's house. I know it goes along with number one, but this way I get to be there and see my little sister's growing up. One getting ready to get married (in 65 days mind you) and the other contemplating a mission. They're so grown up and yet I see them as they were- awkward but confident 15 year old girls.
6- My husband's friends. For some reason, he was blessed with pretty amazing friends who have welcomed me into their little clique with open arms. I am blessed.
7- My friends. Even though we don't see each other very often- due to conflicting schedules, where we live, and just life in general, I am grateful that I have some friends that i can talk with about anything.
8- My relationship with God. Even though I am really *REALLY* struggling with reading my scriptures and having meaningful prayers versus just the usual "Please help, Please bless, Thankful for..." I know that He loves me and wants what's best for me. He's patiently waiting for me to wake my sorry butt up and start talking with Him again. I'm sure if I don't start now, I'll be starting when the baby labor comes...
9- The knowledge that I am loved. Even if I don't feel loved from certain people, I know that I have a network of people who love me and want to help me accomplish all the goals and things I have in my life left to accomplish. They've never made me feel bad that it took me so long to figure out what I am supposed to do with my grown up life. I've never felt as though they rejected me or my path. I'm sure I've made them look at me with a different light, but they love me. I feel it.
10- My pregnancy. Again, it's similar to #2, but my pregnancy has been relatively easy. Knowing what I do about my genetics and the risks that I was facing, I'm very glad that my morning sickness was more dizzy than nauseous- I only threw up when I was car-sick. I'm glad that my blood sugar levels have remained "decent" considering how heavy I was when I got pregnant and that I don't have Gestational Diabetes. I'm grateful that I'd had stretch marks before so I am not crying in grief over the loss of porcelain skin. And I am especially grateful that my anxiety, while it has heightened, hasn't needed medications to keep it in check.
I truly am blessed. It's just hard to keep that in perspective when I feel as though I'm sliding backwards and never quiet getting one foot in front of the other before something happens.
2 comments:
Awesome post! I love how grateful you are in the face of hard things. I know how thankful you are to be pregnant, and how blessed you feel, but that doesn't mean that you don't have a right to complain too :) Growing a person is hard work even if you are having a relatively smooth time of it. So if you ever need someone to complain to about being so tired you want to fall over or horrid heartburn, or any number of other things, someone who won't judge, you know I am your girl! Love you!
You are loved. You look great. You are pretty much a walking beauty Queen.
I am glad you like your hubbies friends. Which is great. Because they are pretty much at the same point you guys are in your lives.
Living with Mom and Dad are positive and yet sometimes hard. I totally get that.
Praying and reading scriptures are hard. But it is so wonderful when you can "talk" to him. And get to know him and yourself better in the process.
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